I don't know what to call this.

What happens when days blend into nights?
And then that blends into weeks?
And you don't know what time it is.
Or how long you've been awake.

You don't know what to do to help you sleep,
you don't know if you WANT to sleep.
You don't remember how to sleep or if you can,
you're like a walking zombie at school.

Taking everything in, not talking to very many people.
Noticing all the details that no one ever notices.
Is that good or bad?
Details are good, but if you have to go to the lengths of
sleep deprivation to see them, is it a good thing?

Everyone knows you can't sleep,
but not very many people know why.
You're scared that if they knew why,
you'd have to talk about it.

You don't want to talk about it, to anyone. No one knows the secret of why you don't want to sleep. Why you can't sleep, no matter how tired you get. You don't know what to do. You want to get help, to be able to sleep, worried that you are an insomniac, worried that you're never going to drift into peaceful sleep again. Every time you sleep, his face, it haunts you. It shows you all the feelings that were combined. Show's you exactly what happened, even though you were not there yourself. Show's you what you were once thankful you didn't see. Until your dreams turn on you. You begin to be the one, heading feet first into water. You are the one that goes, when he's left behind. You don't know what to do.

Sleep, stay awake, talk about it.
You dread doing any choice.
You just wish it would end.
You just want to sleep.